Thursday, January 31, 2002
stuck in a rut
Talk about an amazing lack of inspiration. Have you ever felt a sickening sense of complete triteness? Argh. It's like being stuck in a rut and every time you squirm it just gets worse -- much like quicksand. As if you're digging your grave towards completion.
That's exactly what happened to my blog. Argh.
Talk about an amazing lack of inspiration. Have you ever felt a sickening sense of complete triteness? Argh. It's like being stuck in a rut and every time you squirm it just gets worse -- much like quicksand. As if you're digging your grave towards completion.
That's exactly what happened to my blog. Argh.
Friday, January 18, 2002
cold extremities
Something is definitely wrong with my Liver.
I am a seasoned biology mugger and am thus infinitely familiar with the workings of the human anatomy. After some intensive research using the Body Bible, I am convinced that the reason why my poor fingers and toes (aka the extremities) freeze every time they enter a lecture theatre is because my internal heater has gone kaput.
And since the Liver is the body�s heat regulator, one can only conclude that I am indeed suffering from a Terminal Liver Disease. To further substantiate this weighty conclusion, it happens that the ONLY parts of me that get frozen are my darned extremities. Obviously the damaged heater�s only turned on half-blast, just barely enough to keep the rest of me thawed. In all probability, the limited heat generated is only sufficient for areas around the Liver.
I suppose I should go shopping for a new heater, seeing that mine�s already almost 17 years old. Sides, Cirrhotic Livers aren�t in fashion anymore.
Brrrr.
Something is definitely wrong with my Liver.
I am a seasoned biology mugger and am thus infinitely familiar with the workings of the human anatomy. After some intensive research using the Body Bible, I am convinced that the reason why my poor fingers and toes (aka the extremities) freeze every time they enter a lecture theatre is because my internal heater has gone kaput.
And since the Liver is the body�s heat regulator, one can only conclude that I am indeed suffering from a Terminal Liver Disease. To further substantiate this weighty conclusion, it happens that the ONLY parts of me that get frozen are my darned extremities. Obviously the damaged heater�s only turned on half-blast, just barely enough to keep the rest of me thawed. In all probability, the limited heat generated is only sufficient for areas around the Liver.
I suppose I should go shopping for a new heater, seeing that mine�s already almost 17 years old. Sides, Cirrhotic Livers aren�t in fashion anymore.
Brrrr.
Thursday, January 17, 2002
feminism/the door test
Oh dear. I realize that I�m starting to sound like an ole femmie. Honestly, I�m as much of a Feminist as I am a Communist, which is to say I�m neither. I have my feet firmly planted in no-man�s land; I value my independence but also genuinely appreciate chivalry.
I put every guy to a Door Test. It is a vital test that allows me to discern potential dates from those destined for the dumper. It is THE test. So guys, pay attention :]
The Door Test is so simple you�d kick yourself if you discover now how often you�ve failed it. It is the duty of the gentleman, as a matter of good old-fashioned gallantry, to go before the girl as they approach a door, walk in first, hold the door open and let her through, before entering after her and closing it.
Sounds easy doesn�t it. But you won�t believe how many guys fail the test time after time!! Self-absorbed oafs.
Actually, this test is meant to catch the guy off guard, so as to be able gauge accurately his true level of chivalry. Hence, by revealing the test, I�m actually rendering it invalid.
Ah well. Who reads my blogger anyway :]
Oh dear. I realize that I�m starting to sound like an ole femmie. Honestly, I�m as much of a Feminist as I am a Communist, which is to say I�m neither. I have my feet firmly planted in no-man�s land; I value my independence but also genuinely appreciate chivalry.
I put every guy to a Door Test. It is a vital test that allows me to discern potential dates from those destined for the dumper. It is THE test. So guys, pay attention :]
The Door Test is so simple you�d kick yourself if you discover now how often you�ve failed it. It is the duty of the gentleman, as a matter of good old-fashioned gallantry, to go before the girl as they approach a door, walk in first, hold the door open and let her through, before entering after her and closing it.
Sounds easy doesn�t it. But you won�t believe how many guys fail the test time after time!! Self-absorbed oafs.
Actually, this test is meant to catch the guy off guard, so as to be able gauge accurately his true level of chivalry. Hence, by revealing the test, I�m actually rendering it invalid.
Ah well. Who reads my blogger anyway :]
blisters
I hate blisters � sickening flaming pustules!!! Each time they erupt they leave a trail of slime in my sock and a raw patch of skin exposed to zillions of greedy microbes!!
Owwwch.
I hate blisters � sickening flaming pustules!!! Each time they erupt they leave a trail of slime in my sock and a raw patch of skin exposed to zillions of greedy microbes!!
Owwwch.
Wednesday, January 16, 2002
pms
Never have 3 letters of the alphabet been so dreaded or revered. They alone forge the sacred dominion of the female race, for only they distinguish Females from Faggots (no offence meant. It�s a fact � PMS can�t be implanted).
Only Females are able to exercise this hallowed birthright. This alone is powerful enough to excuse them from all the nasty quirks they exhibit on any given day. Call it a convenient scapegoat if you will. The myriad of maladies associated with it is innumerable, for they encompass the entire medical dictionary of ailments.
Thank god for PMS.
Never have 3 letters of the alphabet been so dreaded or revered. They alone forge the sacred dominion of the female race, for only they distinguish Females from Faggots (no offence meant. It�s a fact � PMS can�t be implanted).
Only Females are able to exercise this hallowed birthright. This alone is powerful enough to excuse them from all the nasty quirks they exhibit on any given day. Call it a convenient scapegoat if you will. The myriad of maladies associated with it is innumerable, for they encompass the entire medical dictionary of ailments.
Thank god for PMS.
radiation
Thinking about the shortage of Men nowadays brought to mind another interesting rumination.
I spent my holidays in Japan last year. Frankly, I�ve discovered that one scenic location hardly varies from another, except maybe in name. I could be standing among the Swiss Alps for all I know and still imagine myself to be in Mt Fuji. Honestly, the differences between these natural wonders are but skewed facts brainwashed into our minds by media-savvy travel agencies. But, I digress.
While we were there, Annie the tour guide informed us about the grave implications of today�s modernized way of life. Did you know that in hi-tech Japan where everyone uses a mobile, the birth rates are such that two-thirds of the children are girls?! For every two baby girls born, there comes only ONE precious baby boy. Apparently, the root cause of this distressing phenomenon is Radiation, which has somehow warped our gametes!
This devious Radiation so often overlooked by all of us has silently gathered its forces and plotted the extinction of our kind ... It is slowly altering the intricate workings of our body cells, causing us to evolve into mutants! Radiation must be exterminated to prevent further devaluation of the female sex!!!
Alas to be a valueless, oversupplied female.
Thinking about the shortage of Men nowadays brought to mind another interesting rumination.
I spent my holidays in Japan last year. Frankly, I�ve discovered that one scenic location hardly varies from another, except maybe in name. I could be standing among the Swiss Alps for all I know and still imagine myself to be in Mt Fuji. Honestly, the differences between these natural wonders are but skewed facts brainwashed into our minds by media-savvy travel agencies. But, I digress.
While we were there, Annie the tour guide informed us about the grave implications of today�s modernized way of life. Did you know that in hi-tech Japan where everyone uses a mobile, the birth rates are such that two-thirds of the children are girls?! For every two baby girls born, there comes only ONE precious baby boy. Apparently, the root cause of this distressing phenomenon is Radiation, which has somehow warped our gametes!
This devious Radiation so often overlooked by all of us has silently gathered its forces and plotted the extinction of our kind ... It is slowly altering the intricate workings of our body cells, causing us to evolve into mutants! Radiation must be exterminated to prevent further devaluation of the female sex!!!
Alas to be a valueless, oversupplied female.
fragrant farts
Aromatherapy really gets on my nerves. I think it�s a load of hogwash and just another way for crafty businessman to milk the cash out of suckers who truly believe these stinking concoctions actually work.
The repugnant stench of Jasmine is especially irksome � it smothers my nostrils and causes my asphyxiated brain to churn out images of stinky toilets drowning in the cheapest of air fresheners.
Other unbearable stinks include the occasional overwhelming tide of perfume that accompanies a narcissistic socialite whose idea of leaving an impression is to leave one permanently traumatized by eau de toilette.
Worse than farts they are indeed.
Aromatherapy really gets on my nerves. I think it�s a load of hogwash and just another way for crafty businessman to milk the cash out of suckers who truly believe these stinking concoctions actually work.
The repugnant stench of Jasmine is especially irksome � it smothers my nostrils and causes my asphyxiated brain to churn out images of stinky toilets drowning in the cheapest of air fresheners.
Other unbearable stinks include the occasional overwhelming tide of perfume that accompanies a narcissistic socialite whose idea of leaving an impression is to leave one permanently traumatized by eau de toilette.
Worse than farts they are indeed.
Tuesday, January 15, 2002
ghosts of the past/nostalgia
I think nostalgia is a beautiful word � a word rich in connotation. It calls to mind delightful memories and droll frivolities that somehow exist only in the charming world of things that were.
Starting school anew ironically is a very nostalgic experience. Ghosts of the past lurk all around. A walk down the corridor and I bump into an old classmate or two from way back in primary school, people whom I�ve not seen in close to a decade. It is remarkable how our diverged paths converge once more, probably only to depart yet again once these two years draw to a close.
In their faces I see myself � a ghost of the past nestled in some secret corner of a maturing soul, preserving all the lovely times from earlier on. Memories of the past linger on as we venture forth, merging the past and the future into the present.
This is what we live for � the spirit drawn from experience which gives us the strength to soldier on, as we seek to add to our hoard of jubilation.
I think nostalgia is a beautiful word � a word rich in connotation. It calls to mind delightful memories and droll frivolities that somehow exist only in the charming world of things that were.
Starting school anew ironically is a very nostalgic experience. Ghosts of the past lurk all around. A walk down the corridor and I bump into an old classmate or two from way back in primary school, people whom I�ve not seen in close to a decade. It is remarkable how our diverged paths converge once more, probably only to depart yet again once these two years draw to a close.
In their faces I see myself � a ghost of the past nestled in some secret corner of a maturing soul, preserving all the lovely times from earlier on. Memories of the past linger on as we venture forth, merging the past and the future into the present.
This is what we live for � the spirit drawn from experience which gives us the strength to soldier on, as we seek to add to our hoard of jubilation.
the art of blogging
With a mere five entries, I have grown to love blogging. I never knew writing about nothing could be so therapeutic. There really is nothing to the art of blogging � you�ve just got to be really bored and patient as you wait for random thoughts to permeate your brain and slowly filter their way into the grey matter and transmit their electrical impulses via neurons down your languid arms which then begin to push down lightly on the tiny buttons of your keyboard.
Before you know it, you�ve just finished an entry. What fun!
With a mere five entries, I have grown to love blogging. I never knew writing about nothing could be so therapeutic. There really is nothing to the art of blogging � you�ve just got to be really bored and patient as you wait for random thoughts to permeate your brain and slowly filter their way into the grey matter and transmit their electrical impulses via neurons down your languid arms which then begin to push down lightly on the tiny buttons of your keyboard.
Before you know it, you�ve just finished an entry. What fun!
Monday, January 14, 2002
androgyny
Yikes. Our Chinese teacher brought up a very interesting observation in class today: We�re actually evolving into a sexless species! Thanks to a disturbing phenomenon known as androgyny.
Take a look at the barfworthy pretty-boy syndrome infiltrating the male population. Precious few Men are left thanks to this devastating disease, which has left a significant percentage of the male population crippled with the Sissy Virus.
And with the current girl-power trend taking its toll on the traditionally demure female population, ladies have taken to stomping around like gorillas and pumping iron all in the name of fashion. Oh baby. Don�t even mention those awful baggy pants. The situation with girls is so bad that the few hetero Men left have taken to harassing pretty boys instead!
Suppose the evolution becomes so complete that all of humankind gets reduced to mere asexual amoebas?!
Those darned fashion gurus better start reviving proper male and female fashion. I want my Macho Men.
Yikes. Our Chinese teacher brought up a very interesting observation in class today: We�re actually evolving into a sexless species! Thanks to a disturbing phenomenon known as androgyny.
Take a look at the barfworthy pretty-boy syndrome infiltrating the male population. Precious few Men are left thanks to this devastating disease, which has left a significant percentage of the male population crippled with the Sissy Virus.
And with the current girl-power trend taking its toll on the traditionally demure female population, ladies have taken to stomping around like gorillas and pumping iron all in the name of fashion. Oh baby. Don�t even mention those awful baggy pants. The situation with girls is so bad that the few hetero Men left have taken to harassing pretty boys instead!
Suppose the evolution becomes so complete that all of humankind gets reduced to mere asexual amoebas?!
Those darned fashion gurus better start reviving proper male and female fashion. I want my Macho Men.
reading old books
When I was small, I used to think that by the time I reached junior college, I�d possess an impressive reading record, and be able to spout literary gems and obscure quotes that proved my depth of thought. Unfortunately, things always turn out so contrary.
I�ve not only failed to read any Shakespeare (not having taken lit in sec school), hell I don�t even make it a habit to read the newspapers!!! (except for the Life! section with all the gossip). The only thing of literary worth I�ve read recently is Lord of the Rings and the whole Tolkien collection. And that�s only after watching the movie. (Tolkien was on my primary school reading list!!) And I�ve only JUST finished Pride and Prejudice, after meaning to for the past half a decade.
Oh dear. The worst of it all is that I�ve taken to regressing back to the glorious past � I�ve been reading old books that I read when I was 8, such as Ballet Shoes by Noel Streatfeild.
The only genres I�ve been reading recently are historical journals and biographies � �old books�. History really is my favorite subject. It is positively riveting. I could spend the rest of my life reading million-paged historical tomes.
I love old books.
When I was small, I used to think that by the time I reached junior college, I�d possess an impressive reading record, and be able to spout literary gems and obscure quotes that proved my depth of thought. Unfortunately, things always turn out so contrary.
I�ve not only failed to read any Shakespeare (not having taken lit in sec school), hell I don�t even make it a habit to read the newspapers!!! (except for the Life! section with all the gossip). The only thing of literary worth I�ve read recently is Lord of the Rings and the whole Tolkien collection. And that�s only after watching the movie. (Tolkien was on my primary school reading list!!) And I�ve only JUST finished Pride and Prejudice, after meaning to for the past half a decade.
Oh dear. The worst of it all is that I�ve taken to regressing back to the glorious past � I�ve been reading old books that I read when I was 8, such as Ballet Shoes by Noel Streatfeild.
The only genres I�ve been reading recently are historical journals and biographies � �old books�. History really is my favorite subject. It is positively riveting. I could spend the rest of my life reading million-paged historical tomes.
I love old books.
Sunday, January 13, 2002
going to school is lots of fun
School's starting for real tomorrow. Urrgh. After 2 merciful weeks of orientation, it's back to the grind once again. All the awful tutorials and math equations and biology terms. Yuck. I'd trade my place in Heaven for eternal deliverance from this sufferage!! The worst thing about taking the Sciences is that you either know it or you don't. Unlike the Humanities where mugging is still a viable option.
The worst thing about school's the long hours. I think I clock in more hours than the average CEO. I get up at 6 every morning and end at 6ish most days! That's 12 hours of school, excluding time needed for Homework!! Giving say another 4 hours of sweat and toil to discovering the solution to an impossible math problem, that totals up to 16 full hours of school-related activities. All this excluding time for Fun. And people wonder why teenagers are always in a funk.
We were given a temporary timetable last week to initiate us to the new world of Junior College. Wow. It was the very epitome of sluggishness. There was but a delicate smattering of lessons .. an hour here and half there .. allowing us to sample the hidden delights of mind-numbing lectures. Then the Real timetables were delivered.
I knew I should never have taken triple science. God help me.
School's starting for real tomorrow. Urrgh. After 2 merciful weeks of orientation, it's back to the grind once again. All the awful tutorials and math equations and biology terms. Yuck. I'd trade my place in Heaven for eternal deliverance from this sufferage!! The worst thing about taking the Sciences is that you either know it or you don't. Unlike the Humanities where mugging is still a viable option.
The worst thing about school's the long hours. I think I clock in more hours than the average CEO. I get up at 6 every morning and end at 6ish most days! That's 12 hours of school, excluding time needed for Homework!! Giving say another 4 hours of sweat and toil to discovering the solution to an impossible math problem, that totals up to 16 full hours of school-related activities. All this excluding time for Fun. And people wonder why teenagers are always in a funk.
We were given a temporary timetable last week to initiate us to the new world of Junior College. Wow. It was the very epitome of sluggishness. There was but a delicate smattering of lessons .. an hour here and half there .. allowing us to sample the hidden delights of mind-numbing lectures. Then the Real timetables were delivered.
I knew I should never have taken triple science. God help me.
Saturday, January 12, 2002
A little bit about me.
I'm female. Definitely. A pure, unadulterated, genuine oestrogen machine. I'm also an Aries, soon to be 17. I hate my blotty feet and cracked toe-nails. I'd like a comfortable pair of shoes .. Too bad Christmas is over :[
I'm female. Definitely. A pure, unadulterated, genuine oestrogen machine. I'm also an Aries, soon to be 17. I hate my blotty feet and cracked toe-nails. I'd like a comfortable pair of shoes .. Too bad Christmas is over :[
the inaugural blog
My very first blog. My very own barmy potage of gobbledygook! How fantastic. Being techno-phobic, I never imagined blogging to be so simple. I expect it'll soon be addictive.. Fulfilling even.
My very first blog. My very own barmy potage of gobbledygook! How fantastic. Being techno-phobic, I never imagined blogging to be so simple. I expect it'll soon be addictive.. Fulfilling even.
